It is even worse that she did that because she wanted to impress her parents.That’s bad.” He looked visibly worried. He peered into his mug, then picked it up and put it to his mouth. Sometimes, he got so engrossed in whatever he was doing that he would have to do that to remember that he had not finished his tea, by which time it would have gone cold and thick, looking more like mud water.
No one likes to fail,” he continued. “But failure is not always a bad thing. There is a redeeming side to it. Failure can actually empower us in ways that success cannot. Failure can teach us humility, strength and perseverance. It can also teach us to ask for help. All these are qualities that can be applied to all other aspects of our lives even when we are no longer in school.
That is why quite often, people who struggled through school tend to end up doing better in real life than the super bright students.” He picked up his tea and took a very brief sip. I didn’t think he was still interested in the tea; it was just a reflex action. “That reminds of me of one of the greatest poems ever. Ulysses, by Alfred Lord Tennyson, an Englishman. It says, ‘That which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will. To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield .”He punched the air with his mug.
Never to yield, that is the key.” “Never to yield,”I repeated. “Exactly. You would find that you probably learnt more from your struggle with Chemistry than any other subject that you passed easily. ‘To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. That is it. You know, this poem was actually adopted as the motto for the 2012 summer Olympics in London.” I really liked that line myself. And I quickly wrote it down. It could also be my personal motto.
With each passing day, I became convinced that my heart was actually in the arts subjects, especially Literature and History, than the sciences. There was a way these subjects made me feel that sciences were not doing for me. “So, Daddy, you don’t mind that I want to be a lawyer?” I asked. “Now that you know it was not a way to avoid Chemistry” -He smiled. He removed his eye glasses and polished it with the edge of his caftan, more out habit than necessity. “My dear, it does not really matter what career you choose,” he said.
It does not matter whether you’re a doctor or a journalist, a lawyer or an accountant, an architect or even a painter. The most important thing is that you must do only that which has your heart in it.
If you love what you do, then your work becomes easier. Look at footballers and musicians, the first thing you notice when you watch them is that they enjoy what they’re doing. When you have passion for what you do, the passion would drive you to success in your work. It is important also that whatever you do, you should strive to be one of the best in it, if not the absolute best.
Even if you are a cleaner, let it be said that anybody looking for a very good cleaner should come to you. As a father, I can only guide you. I cannot choose your career for you. “But a boy in my class, Sogo, said his father wants him to be a lawyer like himself, but he did not want to.” “It is normal for parents to want their children to follow in their footsteps, I suppose. However, it is important that parents allow their children to choose.
If Sogo wants to be a lawyer like his father, there’s nothing wrong with that. But if it is just because that’s what the father wants, then the son would only be pursuing his father’s dreams, not his own. His heart would not be in his work. He may eventually abandon his father’s dreams to pursue his own. That would be a waste of everybody’s time, you know?” “But, I thought you said children should always obey their parents.”
Yes, it is important that children should always obey their parents because the parents have more experience about life and they would always want what is best for their children. However, we parents also have a duty to listen to our children. We need to realize that the reason we send you to school is so that you would learn how to think for yourself. Do you know what Kahlil Gibran taught me about children?”
Kahlil Gibran, he taught you?” I asked and leaned forward. I knew there were several books by Kahlil Gibran in the library downstairs, even though I had not read any of them. “Yes, in a way. But not exactly… I mean, I never met him. Gibran was a Lebanese poet who died in 1931.” Almost disappointed, I sat back in my chair.
I recalled that this was not the first time he would be talking like this. He had this habit of talking about authors or musicians, some dead even before he was born, almost as though they were his personal friends or teachers. “But why do you talk like that, Dad?” “Like how?” “Like you knew this… this Gibran guy,” I said. “You know you have this way of talking as if you know some of these people, when you’ve only read their books or listened to their music. Sometimes, I just wonder…” “Well, in a way, I knew them,” he replied.
A book can be a window into the writer’s mind. Every book is an invitation to a relationship from the writer. And it is personal.” I shook my head, more in admiration than disagreement. “Mr. Bello, I am not sure I understand you, sir. But… anyway, what did Mr. Gibran teach Mr. B ello?” I asked. He chuckled as he got up and walked over to a massive wardrobe that was ranged against an entire wall of the room.
He had a neat row of books on the upper shelf. The wardrobe maker might have intended this part of the cabinet to be used to store shoes or other personal items, but Daddy had it converted to a book shelf. I remembered Mum jokingly complaining on many occasions that one of her misfortunes in marrying Daddy was that she had to compete with books to find space in his bed.
