Valentine Stories


This is a comprehensive and elaborate compiling of Valentine Stories



First thing on 14th February, every year – on Whatsapp, BBM, facebook and Twitter – guys will post display pictures of ladies different from the ones they posted on the same date, the previous year and which they do not intend to post next year.
Later in the day, the real versions of these photo-shopped display pictures – ladies with real pimples and creases – will be taken out to where there is much fun fare. They will be made to drink a little too much. The aim is to get them drunk.

The music must be loud; sex must ooze carelessly. It may be shrouded in subtlety, in the red blotches of colour splashed here and there. It may be more pronounced: drooling over chitchat with the liquor cascading down tall wine glasses. The ladies will warm to the couquettry. They came prepared and ready. They had carefully chosen their dresses. Short and flimsy gowns, long bare legs mounted on glossy and mountainous heels. It must look all perfect.

Lost in the deep sonorous rhythm of romantic music, the guys will utter sweet nonsense and coo in their ladies ears. Smiles, laughter, winks.

In the end, the staggering ladies will be taken home. They will be bonked. They will be banged hard.

Between February 14th and a few months – depending on how dexterous temperaments are – hearts will have been broken. In between these dates, abortions will be contemplated and conducted in secrecy. Abortion doctors will smile to the bank. The price of butchered and mangled fetuses will be used to show some love and care. It could even be used to repair homes; let’s say these doctors use these monies to buy new cars for their wives. Or tuck neat wads into envelopes and drop them in the church tithe boxes. Are these not acts of piety?
I’ve always respected abortion doctors. They enjoy a contorted ride with conscience

Back to the ladies!
Those with feeble hearts and aching backs; whose minds cannot stand some bloodied forceps or whose backs can not lie still for ten minutes on operating tables or whose quaking legs cannot spread open further for the currete to make an entry will have to endure a nine-months adventure of nauseas, melancholy and such omens. By mid November, or first week of December – for those that would have had extended pregnancies – beautiful babies will have been birthed. Babies whose fathers aren’t responsible enough to give thoughts over their parenting.
November must have the highest number of birthdays. Check it out.

The lover- babe’s turned mother’s experience a closed chapter; afterall, few will ever be able to pick up the pieces of their lives and assemble them together. It’s a tough thing to do, especially when you’ve got a baby on your back. To them, St. Valentine left a sour after-taste in their mouths. Pine mouth, teeth sensitivities; something akin to eating too much unripe pineapples, sour-soup or pine nuts. These feelings are regurgitated when they look at these babies.
Some may get lucky. God and man could lure the men of St. Valentines’ Day into the stables of a shabbily planned marriage. Pray it works, or you might bear the name ‘My Baby Mamma’ forever.

Back to the Ladies!
The lucky ones are those who had courage, money and timing to seek for an abortion. Timing matters, for it makes the difference between taking a pill or lying on the cold steel table. If you confuse the timing- and let the second trimester roll by; your fate is relegated to coffin sellers and grave diggers. They shall decide where you’ll be buried, at the backyard or a commercial cemetery.

Back to the Lucky ones!
Those who had courage, money and timing to seek for an abortion. They are very lucky that their complains about heartbreaks from March to December do not faze them. It is apparent that they are heartbroken. It will even be spelt on their profile messages over facebook, twitter, BBM and whatsapp; after all that’s where it all started.
These things will persist from March to December. That’s a short while for mourning, since they shall find love again by January and get ready to celebrate Valentine by 14th February, the next year.
The cycle circles till those that are lucky this year- becomes too feeble minded or too terrified of repeating abortions and concede to the ways of the unlucky. Birthing father-less babies. Not that these babies were conceived by the holy spirit. Just that these men run wild with the free spirit.
February 14th remains a fresh beginning for these cycles.
We cannot stop it. Love must be celebrated, on Valentine’s Day.


“Happy Valentine”, another neighbor greeted. This time it was the girl- neighbor with the numerous girlfriends. We became close friends after the blocked toilet system saga last two months. At the end, I had told her the truth and she had taken to me afterwards. Now, we live more humanly- saying and responding to greetings like we are enamored to each other.
“Fine sisi, come first make I sama u small talk”, I called to her. She rushed half ways, and turned, running back towards her flat.

“I dey come, make I carry sumtin for house first”, she answered as she rushed-in and came out momentarily toting a large polythene bag. As she swayed towards me, I smiled, recalling that not until last two month did we ever talk or become friends. Before then, we were a “cat and dog”bunch- waging a cold war against each other over the repetitive blockage of the toilet system.

She was against me, her case being that I bring so many girls home. It wasn’t just the moans and catcalls that did her in. But the thought that I was actually disposing the condoms I used into the toilet bowls and flushing them down, thus causing the frequent blockages.

I was not fazed by her insinuations after all, she did her moans too- she and those barbie-type, doll-like lesbian friends of hers. It was unimaginable what those girls were doing to each other’s bodies and emotions behind that door. They’d turned her accommodation to a Gommorrah of sorts.

Unlike her, I had a stronger case which was beyond the din of humming vibrators over their loud moans every time they got to play house. My case was that I suspected those girls disposed their sanitary pads into the toilet and flushed them down. I was sure it was the cause of the blockages. Gradually, the malignant cold-war festered and broke into an open sore of hatred between us. It was our version of the “War of Sexes”

After the last cistern blockage, we went verbal. She rained several curses; I sent a score of abuses back. Her dolly-girls cooed in their slanderous side talks. The plumber eventually arrived and I decided to stand guard. When she joined me, I realized she was equally worried about the issue. There was no pretense here, we both had to ascertain the root of the problem. It is a shitty work plumbers do- shitty and smelly too- and it takes courage to stand the odour oozing from an open toilet inspection tank. Yet, we stood our grounds. It didn’t take long before the problem was traced: a blocked piping in the cistern drainage caused by two soggy sanitary pads jutting out from the pipe arm connecting her side to the chamber.

Immediately, she had started fuming and swearing to her innocence about the matter. Seeing some honesty in her denials,   I instantly hushed her and told her that I knew it wasn’t her. She was so taken aback by my words that she stood there muted for a long moment. “I know it’s not you. Rather, it is those friends of yours. They have been throwing their pads in there and it’s a shame we have been accusing each other over other people’s transgressions”, I had continued. She had apologized after we shared the bills and paid up the plumber’s exorbitant service charge. Then, we became friends.

No sooner had we started talking than her friends started thinning out on their regular visits. Soon, nobody came at all. Soon enough too, she had worked herself to the top of my rung of female friends. She not only became my friend, she also became a cook, my personal laundry woman, a movie rental and a home-cleaner. When I realized that I had a place to eat in, someone to play cards with after work and a good friend in her- all without incurring the bills that I would have with the other girls- I decided to give a break with the strays that I brought home. That was since last December and our friendship has been waxing stronger daily. Now, as she advanced towards me, I was pondering over what she had in the bag.

“Make we fa enta inside, I wan show u sumtin”, she said in her fabulous pidgin-english. I always marvel at the way she speaks her pidgin like it was french or latin or spanish- a kind of language she went to school to learn- taking time to draw out the phonetics. Her shoulder brushed lightly against mine as she passed me by the door. Her cologne had a strong fragrance of meadows and wild flowers. I followed the perfume inside.
“Happy Valentine”, she said for the umpteenth time.
“Wetin be valentine?”, I asked.

“No be today be dem- lovas day?”, she asked back settling noisily on the bed. In our conversations, we had come up with a way of answering questions with questions and yet keeping up the dialogues.
“Na em u come tell me? I be ur lova?”, I asked again, as I moved to the opposite side of the bed.
“E-for kokuma pass dey salute give dem lesbi-chicks were una dey do that thing that year”, I continued. We have always been honest with our talk and we know better not to be infuriated over such careless chitchat.

“No be u use ur village-juju pursue dem?”, she querried, fumbling under the pillow for the television remote. “For wia? No be dia shit and pad pursue dem?”, I countered faking a frown.
“But u follow small; no be why u come dey colombi me kpata kpata like say I be your wife?”,
“Wife ke? Make I hear word, abegi! U no wan show me wetin dey bag?”. She paused from switching channels on the TV and answered back, yet with another question.
“No be Val gift were I buy for u?”.
“Na him u come dey hide? Do make I see am.n o’jare”, I teased. She carried the bag from the bedside where she had kept it, pulled out a box-like package dorned in neat glittering wrapping paper and threw it over the bed towards me.

“Wetin e be sef?”, I pipped as I started opening it. I was shocked at what I saw. There was a huge blue-hued teddy-bear with shiny brown eyes. It wore a pink ribbon with “I love you” boldly written over its belly. As I dragged it out, a wine opener fell out of the package; and a pack of condoms too. The elation that washed over me was indescribable.

A wine opener was the single most important item I had wanted and had always forgotten to buy. Red wines were my specialty. At any given time, about a dozen of the long bottles were always standing in the little wine console I hung by the wall at home. When she became my  friend- and after I had given her a good lecture on the science of wine-making, the nutritional value of red wines and the health benefits of its consumption- she joined in. Thus, it was a shame to see me struggling to push wine corks into the bottles with spoons, knives and even my thumb, instead of pulling them out with a simple wine opener. I stood up momentarily, a wide smile plastered across my face as I advanced towards her. She addressed me- in good English this time.

“Bae, I’ve had a good time for the past two months with you and I hope the goodwill you show towards me will continue”, she paused and adopted a more serious tone.
“You must’ve observed that my friends have stopped visiting. That is because news spread- around in my school that I had a boyfriend next door. So in a way, you have stopped me from lesbianism. I can’t say how sorry I’ve been eversince I realize that I had been accusing you wrongly over something you didn’t do. I thank you for letting it go so easily and having me as your friend. To that effect, I bought you those condoms. You can use them and dispose them off in the toilet, if you wish to get even…”, her voice trailed off.

“In that case, I guess I will use it with you, since you’ve used your village juju to pursue the ones I would’ve used them on”, I answered tersely, taking over from her address.
“I appreciate these gifts dear. But I must admit, I don’t do Valentines; so, I didn’t buy any gifts to return the favour. But, I will find something when I go out in the day”, I held her hands.
“On that note please, may I exploit this moment to say that I want you more than an ordinary friend- it has always been on my mind, but i’ve been cowering about letting you know”, I  looked deep into her eyes. I saw a dint, a spark lighting up her eyes and spreading like a wild fire through her face.

“Does that mean you were serious about wanting to use them comdoms on me? For real?”, she querried looking deeper into mine.

“I thought that was a joke”.

“Assuming I say yes, how long will you be warm to these thoughts? Will it last past the Valentine?” her voice became a hum. Like a morning bird.

“Not just for Valentine, dear. I want to clog up the toilet drains with you. So we won’t accuse each other wrongly again”, I cooed seductively.
“For real?”

“Yea! For real”, I answered.

She melted into my arms, whispering “That is so sexy, Bae”.


I reached out and held her face in my palms. She was beautiful. My senses were suffused in the rich wildness of her cologne. Meadows and wildflowers. Our mouths found each others. Meadows and wildflowers.
The plumber had to work and feed, so we fell on the bed and did it- for Valentine’s sake.


This year would have taken me to the pinnacle of my love career; unfortunately, it didn’t!!!

I woke up this morning (Feb. 14) with three lovely options for a val. Lucky me right??? I have always believed in the prophecies of my pastor, Pastor … okay you don’t need to know his name. But when he said it, during our 31st night service that somebody would be 3 times lucky this year, I knew he was talking to me and of course I responded in faith – My Amen was the loudest!

And so as my faith would have it, I met Mary, Blessing and Ayo (such weird combination abi?) in quick succession in January this year and they quickly fell in line – Did I tell you I was a charmer? Now it’s good you know the positions of the three ladies. Mary was the main chick while Blessing and Ayo were the side chickens! Of course you wouldn’t be dumb enough to want to ask why Mary is the main chick, would you??? She was the mother of Jesus for Christ sake! How could she not be the main chick! Well, she had other main chick qualities though which gave her the first position – but I can’t say it here, it’s a secret no guy wants to let out! Blessing was side chick no. 1 while Ayo was side chick no. 2 – more of a corner chick though. Now Blessing didn’t know she was a side chick but Ayo had an inkling that she was a corner chick but didn’t complain or look too deep – she loved the monthly movies, fast food and other stuffs like that – you know na.

I was cool with all of them until one fool came on air and announced that the elections had been postponed! I nearly died of heart attack!

30 minutes later Mary called:

Mary: Sweery, they’ve postponed the elections o… (she shouted ecstatically)
Me: Eh en… are you sure (sweating on my palms)
Mary: Yes na, check nairaland jare… pretender! (She knew me too well)
Me: (Lied) that’s good o… They finally left us to enjoy our day of romance.
Mary: So what are you getting me?
Me: Don’t worry, let it be a surprise…
Mary: Okay o, don’t disappoint me o…
Me: No p. U are my sweerie na.
Mary: Okay, see you larer. (Ends call)

I heaved heavily and started calculating, knowing fully well that Blessing and probably Ayo would also call. I was still calculating when I saw Ayo’s ping – What’s up boo? I ignored. I was still trying to ignore (lol…) when Blessing called. Whew!!! I picked!

Blessing: Baby how are you?
Me: Not feeling too well jor
Blessing: Ah ah, what happened?
Me: I was celebrating that the elections had been cancelled when my manager called that I would be going for the audit engagement we had initially postponed because of the election – I had finished calculating.
Blessing: Oh o… That’s not good o. How are we going to celebrate our love on Saturday na?
Me: That would be when I return. (I smiled to myself and finally acknowledged that I was a badt guy; just the way Tomiwa had always called me)

The plan was actually going to work! Okay, I feel I should let you guys in on what I had planned. I had spent a lot of money on some engagements this month and so was practically broke. There was no way I could take anyone out, not even the main chick! But the main chick was understanding, that’s another reason why she was the main chick. I begged Mary that we spend the days indoors while I made her a special dish. She felt it was romantic and agreed. I told Blessing that I would be travelling and then told Ayo some flimsy lies, I knew she wouldn’t care as far as I made it up to her. It was all perfect. But like my grandmother would always say, nothing can be perfect, not even perfect itself!

So I woke up this morning at 5am with a broad smile, telling the genius of my plans to my bedroom ceiling. Blessing had called the previous day and I confirmed the trip at 8am in the morning. It was supposed to be a one hour flight- I had told her. Mary should be here by 10am. I jumped up at 9am after talking to my ceiling for a while (I can be crazy like that sometimes), covered my butts and ran off to Yaba to get some stuff for my special dish. On my way back Blessing called.

Blessing: Babay… How was your flight?

I was about to reply when a foolish bus driver and his useless conductor pulled over, shouting Ketu-Ojota-Mile 12. The useless conductor even ran to me, begging me to board the bus. I quickly ended the call and looked at the conductor with rage but it was a little too late! She called back.

Blessing: Eh en…, So you lied abi
Me: No o… (I quickly dashed through the lies in my head and found a comforting one), the flight was cancelled.
Blessing: Oh… that’s good o. I’m coming over now now
Me: (I had nailed myself) No o. To my place?
Blessing: (cuts in) No, to your fathers place, she replied sarcastically.
Me: I would be busy o (I searched for logical lies but couldn’t find any). I might go to the office.
Blessing: No problem. We’ll spend a little time together then you can go to the office while I wait at your place to prepare u something. I’m coming lemme dress up. (Ends call)

I was practically sweating now. Two pings dropped immediately the call ended. Mary and Ayo. Mary had said she was on her way while Ayo rambled some foolish things I didn’t want to read – something about being bored and wanting to come relax at my place till I get back from the office (I had lied to her that I had to be at the office all day). I just hissed and continued my walk home, thinking of the next plot.

Immediately I got home, I texted Mary that my boss just called me to come to the office. That was 30 secs before I heard a knock on my door – It was her; plan failed! I was sweating.
Mary: Sugar babay (The way I usually called her)
Me: (Still sweating) Mary, I’m not feeling fine o, I think I have malaria, let us postpone this thing (I was desperate).

Just then my text dropped on her phone.
Mary: (After reading the text) So which should I believe, malaria or your boss? I’ve had this feeling that you are hiding something and I would find out today. I am not going anywhere.

Then there was another knock…

My friends, this morning when I woke up, I had 3 beautiful options for a val. But as I write this story, I am still counting my losses. My pastor’s prophecies were fulfilled too soon



You guys, I almost died because of Valentine! and the saddest part is it wasn’t even my business! Okay here’s what happened; Val’s day was on Thursday right? yh no problems on that day. It went cool and I even got something! Ha! okay so Thursday/Friday night, I pulled an all-nighter cuz I had a test on Fri. My body works in such a way that is amazing. I can deprive myself of sleep (which isnt good anyway) for so long so far I have made up a time to make it up to myself. So I was like on friday evening after school, I’ll just crash; nothing else but sleep! sounds like a good plan right? Okay. So I got back from work around like 5:30pm ish, I didnt even remember to eat. I just turned on my heater, turned off my lights, changed into something more comfortable and lay on my bed peacefully. oh I turned on my TV too. The last time I looked at the time before drifting off was 6pm.

The ringing of my phone startled me out of sleep. Guess who it was? Tolu! I looked at the time, it was 11:30pm. I hadn’t been asleep for too long, I planned to wake up at about 2 a.m and begin my physics homework. In case you don’t know Tolu, this girl is a goat! a big goat! And I call her a goat because she calls me a goat too! but the truth is I love her. We are so different yet alike. She almost like the big sister I don’t have. We mesh so well it’s scary. One thing about us that pple think is weird is our obsession for weddings. OMG Tolu and I can drool over a perfect love story. Do you know how many wedding videos we have watched together? We have been to a million wedding websites just to read the column tagged “how we met”, “about the bride”, “about the groom”, “the proposal”,”our love story”. Y’all we are crazy like that.

We are constantly on the prowl looking for wedding websites like we get paid for it smh. On a Friday night like this, after all is said and done, we would get to business. So when I saw her caller ID, I was actually hoping she had found us a website. I picked up the call half asleep/ half awake. This girl was crying! Well I take that back, she was play-crying. If you don’t understand what that means, its when you make sounds like you are crying but you are really not.
“Tolu what is wrong with you now??” I asked tiredly
This girl didn’t respond. I asked her over and over and she still kept up this act of hers! “Wo, I’ll go back to sleep if you don’t tell me what is wrong with you o”

It was then she spoke up- half talking/half play-crying. She was like “Mayowa, I was just on my bed minding my own business, you know we don’t have anywhere to go now” I chuckled because I understood what she meant by that. She continued “all of a sudden I heard a knock on the door and guess who it was?” The sofo in me quickly asked “who??” ” It was George! with a giant teddy bear and some flowers!!”
“Yes Mayowa can you believe it? he came to surprise Oge! this boy drove 7 hours to come and surprise Oge!! see my life???”
I burst out laughing almost immediately lol. Background is Oge is a friend of ours and also Tolu’s roommate. We all stay in the same apartment complex but different buildings but Oge and Tolu actually stay in the same building and their rooms are almost next to each other. Oge’s boyfriend’s name is George. This boy stays in another state that is about 7 hours (I forgot which one it is) of driving away and Oge wasn’t even expecting him at all.

All of a sudden, he shows up to their door with a val’s day present for his girlfriend. Now how sweet is that??! I managed to ask how Oge looked when George walked in the door. Tolu was like “she was surprised too! one half of her hair was braided and the other wasn’t” I burst into another bout of laughter.

Tolu continued, still play- crying “Mayowa you have to come and cry with me ooo, I’ll pick you up in 15 mins” “lol Okay”. I dragged myself out of bed. Tolu came in a few mins and as I approached her car, I noticed that Ify had come with her. Ify is Tolu’s third roommate. I got into the car only to discover that these two fools were play-crying and comforting each other! Well Ify was sorta-kinda really crying lol She was even holding her head in her hands hahaha. Mahn! my friends are sick! So they couldn’t handle a simple surprise?? Ify re-narrated the whole story to me.

She said she was the one who even went to get the door and was dead in her tracks when she saw George lol! I can’t with this pple! They woke me from my beauty sleep to come cry with them . do you see us?? do you see our lives?? It wasnt even my business! Okay so this is where I almost died. We got down from the car, they live on the second floor so we had to go up a flight of stairs. I still was laughing my butt off at all the comments they were making. Tolu was in front and Ify and I were behind.

This is how you know TRUE Nigerians. If Nigerians see you running, they wont even ask what is chasing you or why you are running, they’ll run too! This is EXACTLY what happened! We were at the base of the stairs about to climb it when Tolu instead of walking up the stairs like a normal human being, started running. This girl ran up the stairs like she was being chased by a lion! skipping a stair as she raced upwards. Ask me why but i dont know, I started running up the stairs also only to discover Ify was running behind me as well.

Basically we all raced at full speed up the stairs and we didn’t know why. We got in front of Tolu’s apartment where she was struggling to find the key that opened their door. I was panting and laughing and then I asked why she ran up the stairs like that and scared us like something was chasing us. You guys i hadnt finished my sentence and guess what I saw A DOG! A BIG DOG! This dog was huge NO EXAGGERATIONS! It looked like an Alaskan malamute but then again I dont know breeds of Dogs; but this dog couldnt be an ordinary a dog, it had to be a wolf!

When I tell you that my life FLASHED before my eyes, it did! The only name I could call at this point was JESUS. You know that Bible verse “Call upon me in the day of trouble and I will deliver you”?? Oh boy! Mayowa was terrified. Useless Tolu had still not opened the door! Pandemonium broke loose. Can you imagine three girls clustering around the door with a dangerous animal sniffing at us?? Mahn, we were screaming and I mean SCREAMING. Of course stupid Oge wouldnt hear us because George was around. I was wearing sweatpants but I felt this dog’s nose around my hip. It kept going from Tolu to Ify and then me sniffing us like it was looking for the weaker prey. We were still screaming and shouting. The residents in the apt next us came out.

Thank God a savior! They were about 4 white boys and 2 girls. I ran behind one of those boys and when I tell you I was clinging unto him? I was literarily clinging unto him like my life depended on it. I hope I never see him again because it would be so embarrassing. Tolu and Ify were still hugging each other in front of the unopened door. Tolu even dropped her precious iphone 5 hahahahahah! thinking about it now, I am dying of laughter! but then it wasn’t funny. This dog even stepped on the phone at some point while sniffing us.

All of a sudden, the dog came towards me and the white boy I was holding on to and began circling around us. Okay y’all I watch too much animal planet to not know what this meant. When you are in the wild and let’s say a lion or a tiger starts circling around you, you are finished. It is looking for the best angle of attack. I almost hopped on the back of this boy I was clinging on to.

As the dog encircled us, I was running around too and pulling the white boy in such a way that all three of us, me, the dog and the white boy were turning in circles. My horror went from a 100% to a 1000% at this point. I felt my heart sink into my stomach. And my mommy always tells me to never come out when it is late.

What if this dog decided to grab my thigh, what would I tell my mom I was doing out at that time of the night? going to cry with friends over a surprise? what what would I tell my dad? My brain wasn’t helping either, it just kept bring back memories of how my youngest sister got bit by our own dog while still in Nigeria.

This was like 10 years ago. If our own dog that we feed can do that, this vagabond dog will do ten times worse to me. Three of us were still going in circles when the dog approached Tolu and Ify again. Tolu was still fumbling with her keys. The screams went from a 7 to a 10. Shouldnt Oge have at least come out to see what the noise was all about and let us in in the process?? But no, she didnt even hear us.

White people are good with dogs. I wish I could be like that and calm a strange dog. At this point, the other boys began stroking the dog and patting it and what not and drew it’s attention away from us. They were laughing at us too! I even heard one of the girls say this was the funniest thing she had ever seen in her life. Smh the embarrassment was too much. TOO MUCH.

Tolu finally opened the door and if you see how we all jumped in and locked the door behind us, phewww! We didnt even thank our rescuers. God knows what that dog would have done to one or all three of us. This was a gated apt so the dog definitely had an owner; where the heck was him/her?? why was the dog not on leash?? why was the dog out at 11:50pm at night? what do people feed their dogs these days that this dog thought it was okay to snack on human beings?? Mchewww! Even after we got in, Oge had no idea what we had been through just outside of her door! She was in the room with her bf. We narrated the story to her and this fool burst into an uncontrollable laughter. George was laughing too! Oh mahn! I mean we were laughing also but when that dog was right in front of us, it wasn’t funny.

It was later that Tolu said as she was about going on the staircase that her peripheral vision caught the sight of something running and she just assumed it was a dog. Low and behold, it was a dog! A big, tall dog! And she couldn’t even say anything!She just started running. what if I hadn’t run after her or Ify hadn’t run? I rem back in Nigeria, they always told me that when you see a dog don’t run or it’ll chase you. At the same time, i could never maintain my calm in that kind of situation. We ran and uhhhhh yeah we got chased lol.

Do you now understand what I meant in my post here when I said things could go wrong because of valentine? This whole episode only happened because of Valentine. If it wasn’t valentine, George wouldn’t have surprisingly showed up at Tolu’s apt, Tolu wouldn’t have felt lonely and asked me to come cry with her, I would still have been in my bed enjoying my sleep, I wouldn’t have had any business with a stupid hungry dog at 11:50pm at night. I almost lost a limb because of valentine, I basically almost died because of Valentine.


Really the sight of your face
Gives me joy in my race
I thank God for our dear meeting
In this mere world of fleeting
Greetings! My fair Dear
I have less fear
As far as you are with me
Your voice is sweeter than honey
On my bed I think of you
You are the best among the few
I have chosen as admirers
In this world of buyers and sellers
I dedicate this line to you at this time
We celebrate Love in honour of St. Valentin


I was told to catch the day

but I was too late,

it was already night.


I was told to grab every chance

but I have to stir,

and make the opportunity myself


Flowers flying about,

packages exchanges hands

and innocence dies,

I stand alone

at the mouth of  the caves

wishing  I had remained

and never went out.

Hearing the laughters

and the giggles

makes me cold like a packed sardine


Looking over there

I find them waiting

bimbos for their hunters.

How I wish I could hunt.

I have taken the lessons

yet I can’t fire

without missing.

The day seems warm

but am still cold.

In my shivers ,

I heard myself saying

that which made them laugh



Its valentine they say

A bright and lovely day

But my lips smile not

Dark and heavy is my thought

Today I say goodbye

To my love with a heavy sigh

She loves my purse

That is her curse

The size of my manhood

Is to my pocket glued

In the eyes of my eve

And how my heart did grieve

Her eyes are twin almonds

They glitter like diamonds

Her skin is the pride of angels

The fairest of all belles

Her voice is the mother of music

That pleases even the rustic

If only she could see

That my love would drown the sea

That my heart bleeds

From the arrow of her greeds

Bus she sees not but my worth

Though I love her in deed and thought


It is like money that doesn’t want to finish,

like blood that fails to change its colour.

Skirts are at ease with it,

that’s why the skirts long for the trousers.

The progeny of mankind,

one that dictates man’s kindness and readiness.

This day its holiness is belittled to nothingness,

what use is my worthiness

as I’m now ornamented with worldliness.

I am……………..St.Valentine




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